why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
