it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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