textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
