it's like iHOP with fire
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
