the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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