so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
