I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
