shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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