actually, I'm a sock model
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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