didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
