The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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