Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
