Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
