oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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