whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No stitches, just platelets and will power
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
