Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think a kid would responsible me up
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
