He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
