omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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