A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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