You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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