I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Let's paint friendship bongs
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
