In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
