your parents love me but you hate me
...so i touched it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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