Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
