Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
