The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
