So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Everything about him screamed your future.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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