I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
