u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
