i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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