its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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