people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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