I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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