well you can't waste a boner
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
