now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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