The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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