I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
