All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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