Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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