Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
