I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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