He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
