Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
