You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
