I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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