i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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