Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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