dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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