Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
