Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
