ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The struggles of a small town man whore
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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