when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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