pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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