you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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