Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
