Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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