And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
