just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
