what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
