I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just threw up on my dentist
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
