Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
