I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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