I must be too annoying 4 u.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
