Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
