You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
